idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
