I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's always time for handjobs
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
