me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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