I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
