boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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