Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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