I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You can't motorboat a personality
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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