vagina is talking i cant
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
