did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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