Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
