Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
