i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
