5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
