WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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