He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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