I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
