whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
