I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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