is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
