So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
