sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
