Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
