so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
