If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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