I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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