ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
