I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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