I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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