Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize