Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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