Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
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He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
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I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.