Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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