margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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