her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
I am so proud to call you my friend
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.