I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
