does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize