At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
