"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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