This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
