I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
