Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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