Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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