I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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