Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize