she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
