Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night