Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
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Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary