How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
