I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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