everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
