wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
where am i from again
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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