And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
