Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm like, not good at living.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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