you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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