Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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