another moral hangover. fuck.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
