My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
