so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
