You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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