What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
