So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
