Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
