Whod you bang
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
